Sonder

Depression, You are a Parasite

Depression,

You are a parasite,

Sucking the life right out of me, and spilling all your poisonous intentions straight into my bloodstream.

I am your host, but don’t get too comfortable here.

This body is not your forever home.

You make my skin crawl,

No matter how much I scratch, cut and burn

I still cannot feel

Oh how I need my sweet release.

These dimensions of suffering have pulled me from reality.

You make me delusional,

No matter how many times I must tell myself that it’s okay to not be okay,

I still feel guilt for the fact that I fake every dimpled smile and tear drop laugh

When can I remove this skin-tight mask?

You are my other half,

I’ve learned to live with you from day to day

Years of suppressing the thoughts I cannot say

I cannot remember the day that we met

But what’s worse is I can’t imagine my existence if you ever left.

Beloved

I hate you, I love you

I want you but fuck you

Keep screwing me over whenever you’re sober

Eventually  one day I’ll tell you it’s over

Are You Still Up?

Yes, I’m still awake

And I read your last text

I just don’t know what to say

Wish I could tell you everything,

But I’m just not the same.

Babygirl, I know you noticed the change

and you’re the one to blame

You said you want me to stay so sane

but you drove me insane

Why are you,

Still holding on

I’m so far gone

Had me waiting too long

You need to know, you gotta let me go

My love for you, it was bulletproof

But you’re the drug who shot me up

You were my heroin

I could never get enough

I was stuck in a pipe dream

And never wanted to wake up

Babygirl, I know you noticed the change

and you’re the one to blame

You said you want me to stay so sane

but you drove me insane

Before You Go

I don’t want to believe that you’re gone
So in my heart you will always live on
Where you are you can keep me strong
You’re in a better place finally
I know you’ll be looking down at me
With only feelings of pride
I can still hear you if I try
Only once will I let myself cry
I hope to see you when I die
Maybe then we can reunite
I just might miss you
I can never forget you
I’m gonna miss you
I cannot replace you
Every night as I try to sleep
And hope to see you in my dreams
Remember love that was so pure & sweet
Because you have always been there for me
I see you’re in a hurry to leave
Before you go let me say one more thing….

I Will

I love you for who you are

And

I will happily kiss every cut and scar

I will kiss you hard in the pouring rain

And

We can fall in love all over again

I will comfort you when you can’t sleep at night

I will hold you and tell you “Everything is going to be fine”

I will hug you when you start to cry

And

I will gently dry the tears from your eyes

I will hug you when you just can’t speak

And

I will Love you for an eternity

You Are My Moon

You are the Moon of my night skies

I love you in every Phase

At your darkest moments

Even if I can’t see you

I’ll still feel you within Orbit

As you come out from hiding

I’ll embrace you in your New Crescent

Watch you with eyes full of stars

You’ll transcend into First Quarter

Moments until we become closer

One phase away from you, a Full Moon

When your loves falls on me in full bloom

Kiss me before I send you into the horizon

Floating away from me backwards

Falling as you form your Last Quarter

I love you in exactly that order

You’ve returned to your Old Crescent

Almost gone and the light fades

To become a New Moon again

Disappear, but this is not the end

I Am Your Sun

I am the warm yellow light pouring over you

The brightest star in your eyes

Hot to the touch

But I promise you won’t burn

I shall keep you warm inside and out

Shine for you

Even in your darkest moments

Rise to fall again

Stuck in your magnetic field

Dancing in circles around you

You are my world

Without you, I would wander alone

In this maze of a universe

You make me feel at home

Meant To Be Alive

You’re sitting there on the cold floor

Looking with a blank stare at the door

Listening to city lights

By that one band

motionless in white

You hear the singing

and realize that the meaning

suddenly it gives you the urge

and now your bleeding

Snap out of your deep trance

Look at the blood that’s on your hands

Arms and legs smothered in red

You can’t get rid of the thoughts in your head

Couldn’t care less if you were dead

And you just feel so damn worthless

I know just how you feel

You just don’t know what to do

Sometimes it’s too unreal

Starve till you’re cold and your nails turn blue

Growing so fond of that emptiness inside

The pains remind you that your still strong

Blacking out so you can’t see the light

They tell you no, but you’ll prove them wrong

I know you’re looking for forever

That’s I’m staying here with you

To do anything to make things better

Oh, babe I’m never leaving you

No, were not perfect but that’s alright

You’re worth more than you realize

Look at me, straight in the eyes this time

Listen when I say, “You’re meant to be alive”.

Mercy

A traveling soul
Freckles that show
Blurring visions into sight
Seeking warmth over light

All quiet but a riot
Poetic and passionate
Seeing beauty in flaws
Like a degenerate

Living in a dreamworld
Madly in love with a girl
Manipulative with words
All the letters begin to curve

With her interstellar lover
She leaves and won’t look back
Love and pain come together
Colors change then fade to black